Useful Tips

Advice and love: strategy and tactics of communication in Tinder


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In this article, we will tell you how to communicate in Tinder, an application for dating strangers that picks people up on the basis of mutual sympathy.

Expert 1 (Female / user)

Define goals. Tinder will bring more benefit and pleasure to those who clearly understand why they installed it. Are you in a serious relationship, one night stands, friends with benefits, or some other format? If the ship does not know where it is sailing, not a single wind will be favorable for it. Different goals - different profiles, different communication style.

Do well. Tinder is littered with profiles with two photos and without any description. I wonder what these people hope for? Who is willing to spend time on a pig in a poke? It’s easier to click on the cross and scroll to the profile with a large number of photos and a story about a person, so as not to doubt that you will have something to talk about.

Three selfies in the elevator do not tell a person anything about you. Choose a photo from different situations (work, hobbies, travels) depending on what story you want to tell about yourself. The beauty of Internet dating is that for every party-goer, bore or artist, there is always a “buyer” who is looking for such / such. And please wear a T-shirt while taking pictures.

Write through positive and have fun. I am sure that people who define themselves through what they DO NOT love were one of the reasons that the word "toxicity" became the word of 2018 according to the Oxford Dictionary. “I love Morty, a banana cake and people with a sense of humor” sounds much nicer than “I hate Trump, dumplings and those who don’t know how to handle the equipment.”

In my opinion, compiling a profile, surfing, correspondence and dating is a rather fascinating affair, well diluting the flow of releases, products and phonings.

Expert 2 (Male / user)

Be realistic. The Internet provides opportunities for deception. It is easy to imagine ourselves much better than we are. Often, both sides while meeting online sin with other people's thoughts, winning poses and angles. The chances of giving up on meeting are pretty high, so don't expect too much.

Do not rush to buy a premium account. Evaluate what is more important for you: additional features or potential condemnation. Having you a premium subscription may alert some people.

Remember the hygiene of communication. The abundance of stickers is a manifestation of infantilism, know the measure. In addition, they are abused by many, abandoning this style, you will stand out against the general background.

During correspondence, you have time to think, you do not need to post the first thing that comes to mind, it is important to interest the person you are talking to. Remember - self-sufficient and educated people are always patient, restrained and unobtrusive.

Expert 3 (Female / Non-user)

Choose a communication channel and provide coverage. Answer the question “who am I?”, And if you decide to go to the stage of active search, look in the most likely locations and channels. If it’s crucial for you that same-sex couples can protect their cannabis plantations with guns in their hands, you might not want to limit your search to a network of mom’s friends. If you are guided by traditional ideas about morality, Grindr and Tinder should be connected only if other channels have proved to be insolvent. And remember that we have become closer thanks not only to Internet technologies, but also to low-cost airlines, and in some places also to high-speed trains.

Define what you want and don't back down. Call on statistics and help improve your chances of finding a perfect match using quantitative sampling:

If you are looking for short-term entertainment, do not get carried away with correspondence, do not be shy or too sentimental. Be the first to write, swipe right to everyone you like at least a little, try to attract attention not with the quantity, but with the brightness of the content: one or two photos, clear messages, quick answers.

If you are looking for a long-term relationship with a serious future, describe your interests, tell us what you expect from the relationship, and try to get to know the person before your first personal meeting.

If you are looking for a simple human friendship - just write, honesty always increases the chances of success, and most importantly, saves time.

Do not go in search, live your life. Believe me, many are frightened by people who are unable to exist outside of a couple. Develop non-romantic relationships with friends, family, colleagues and professional networking, and do what is important for you: health, career, hobby, apartment renovation, charity or travel. Dating apps should not turn into the center of the universe, and a low rating in them or the absence of coincidences should not impede the smooth flow of life.

Expert 4 (Male / Non-user)

Do not try to sell what you do not have. If you are chasing the number of matches, is it not better to install a developing online game or to promote some kind of commercial Instagram account? It’s not necessary to paint your own flaws, but it’s silly to ascribe fictitious virtues to yourself. It's a shame if you indicate a discrepancy.

Do not be intrusive. Try not to write too often, even to those you really like. Do not make comments and do not give advice if you have not been asked directly about them. For this, Facebook has already been invented!

Do not be afraid and do not take risks. Acquaintance on the Internet is safer than walking with a casual neighbor at the bar, why not meet a person who seemed pleasant to you. But if someone is disturbing, you can’t check if the person you are talking to is like Hannibal Lector or Manka Bond. You can be sure - it looks even stronger than in the photo.


Another interesting aspect of the questionnaire is related to travel - filling them out in foreign languages. Going abroad, many girls write (correctly, in English, and it happens that is not very competent): “For three days in Milan / Madrid / London. Show interesting places! ”Upon arrival, they, as a rule,“ forget ”to remove this information from the profile. Yes, and it is not updated instantly. Often the criteria in a foreign language are much more modest than in the native language. Discrimination?! Probably, a vacation just leads the girls into indescribable euphoria, which softens their criteria. However, the number of fans of one night stand girls still upsets, which they also mention. Only serious relationships, guys. Doomed Tactics.

Apparently, foreigners better understand what Tinder is really about. As for foreign women, there is also a whole set of criteria by which I, for example, do not fit. But everything is very specific, in the questionnaires they are not asking for a candidate for husbands. Foreigners describe the criteria for a partner for the short-term date itself. This is called “soberly assessing prospects” and “value your time." To merge everything into one pile is wrong and will lead to completely different results that the parties are counting on.

“No wedding before sex!” Is not the best policy. Those who regard sex as the highest reward, the Order of Merit, devalue themselves. Is this the best girl can offer? Last level? The highest award should be a person, unity, understanding and acceptance of a partner in all aspects, including sexual. If a girl finds an ideal, real man with whom she does not add up in bed, will she make her endure or look for another real man? Is it more efficient to look for a lover among friends or a friend among lovers?

Tinder and similar applications should not be taken as a compass pointing to a spouse. And do not expect much from him. A few photos and a short description at best will provide a basis on which to build further communication. But this is only one of the methods of assessment, and if you do not want to come across the same people with the same questions, maybe you should try other methods of assessment? Maybe it’s worth adding a little adventurism? I don’t hint at anything, but I can’t help but recall the ancient Chinese dictum: “Sex is like pizza. When he is good, he is good. When he is bad, he is still good! ”