On the eve of adolescence, almost every child has a secret sympathy in which he is afraid to admit to the object of his love. During this period, the guys begin to try to arrange dates or at least communicate with those they like. Sometimes such attempts are accompanied by fear and excitement - or both, and that - which, of course, the guys do not show. In this article, we want to tell you about what you need to do to be on a date with someone you like!
How to please a man and make him think about you
Getting to know a man is more a matter of technology, according to relations coach Levo Vozhevatov, but correctly conducting a first date for women who are looking for a relationship with a man is often difficult. Is it possible to fall in love with a man after sitting with him just an hour or two in a cafe? That is the goal that should be set, the coach believes, and describes in detail the mistakes of the first date in the book “Goddess for her man.”
How to fall in love with a man with simple tricks? More precisely, not what can be done with him to make him fall in love, but on the contrary, what must be done to resist you was impossible? Here are three essential rules for success on your first date.
First rule: create the right mood
A date should be in the mood. It is created primarily by you, not a man. Because a woman is more accustomed to creating a mood. You are more sociable than the average man, more sensitive, more emotional. This is the nature of a woman. And so it’s you who create the atmosphere on a date.
Do you want me to tell you a universal mood that works with all men? A cheerful and playful passion for each other, flavored with a light flair of romanticism and enjoyment from the evening, is floating in the air.
Second Rule: Clearly Defined Goal
Any meetings should have a purpose. Especially the first ones. The classic goal is to interest, charm a man (provided that the man was liked, if not, then communication should be quickly completed).
The goal may be that a man at the end of the first date invites him to the second.
You can slightly confuse the man. So that he does not know how to approach you (appropriate for overly confident and experienced men).
Or vice versa, dazzle him with his inner world and show his peculiarity.
To find out what a man is, while remaining a dark horse for him is also a goal!
In the end, the goals can be different: have fun and enjoy socializing, have a great evening, no matter how it ends!
The third rule: aftertaste
Fall in love when they begin to think about a person when he is not nearby. The more a man thinks about you, the faster he falls in love, and vice versa. Therefore, you must learn to leave an aftertaste: you are not around, and a man cannot forget your meeting and your image. A couple of days of torment and - voila. He is in love!
What to do to create an aftertaste? You can admit to a man that he is cool, but you are afraid of him. Several times, he somehow behaved strangely. And to the question - when and how, you mysteriously smile and offer to discuss it at the next meeting.
Or so. At parting, ask the man to stand still and not move. Place your two fingers on his lips and then kiss them. Then look at the man mysteriously or cheerfully and let him die. Then leave quickly. Here's a playful aftertaste for you!
Come up with a few chips for this moment. Maybe some intrigue for the next date, maybe understatement at the first, maybe an ambiguous end to the meeting, maybe some present to a man - think about it, and you will find an idea.
First Date Mistakes and What They May Cause
1. The interview. The saying is popular among men now, they say, with age, more and more often, dates become like interviews. This sensation arises because the girl simply answers questions without asking the pace, not starting with those, not being included in communication 100%. Role position: you ask me, and I will answer.
Total: the man invested in energy, but received nothing in return. After such a meeting, the man remains feeling tired: “She’s somehow uncomfortable, albeit beautiful”, “Not mine”, “She doesn’t like me”.
2. I am a problem. This is when a girl dumps all his problems on a man, she wants to talk too much. It immediately pops up that she was cheated in the store, she is looking for work for a second month and the damn pneumonia is haunting.
Total: rejection at the instinctive level (an unhealthy female - sick children - must be blamed) and simply unwillingness to communicate with a person who has continuous setbacks.
3. You are wrong! In this case, the date turns into a discussion. To argue, to discuss (even if the man is wrong) is very short-sighted and at least stupid.
Total:“At work, the brain is taken out, the brain is taken out on the road, and even spoil the mood on a date. I’ll go and pick up the Pozdarov away from this fury! ” The man came to enjoy the meeting, and as a result receives a negative.
Any attempt to equalize or convince a man in something is a man’s position. That is, pressing on a man, you yourself become a man. And then two men met. Then do not be surprised why he began to be friends with you, and you wanted a relationship.
If you like talking with a man, practicing intellectual games, then there is one chip that combines both argument and a pleasant aftertaste.
So. Start your favorite discussion. It will be especially juicy if you raise a debate on the topic in which a man is more or less versed, or is passionate about her. First, start making arguments, questioning men's arguments, recalling examples from life, in general, everything is as usual. Let the discussion open, let the man get involved in this confrontation as much as possible.
Remember: your goal now is to captivate the man with this conversation. Hold on in this conversation for about 10 minutes. As soon as you feel that the degree of discussion is off-scale, change your strategy abruptly. Fully acknowledge the correctness of the man, bringing down all his arguments and at the same time complimenting male professionalism and intellect.
Such a powerful inversion will create an incredible state in a man: “With the previous girls I was tired, wasting money, and this one filled me. I want it to be like this always. I need to call her. And in general, she’s cool, they marry such people. ”
4. Solid and boring. Once a woman came to me for a Skype consultation with this problem: men either do not invite to a second meeting, or try to establish business contacts with her.
After listening to the audio recording of the next first date, I realized what was happening. Three and a half hours of decent conversation, with almost no hint of flirtation.
“Why flirt? I’m a decent woman, I’m 41 and I have sex not needed, I want a relationship! We are still too little to know a man to be a heck of a bitch. ”
Well, get it. Men in relationships are usually driven. If a woman at the first meeting offers the role of a friend, well, well, so be it. A man does not feel anything with such a partner at a meeting, except for the work of the brain.
“Why do I need a woman with whom I as a colleague at work. No, she’s a wonderful person, but I don’t want her. ”
Instead of “I am a solid woman, and sex is taboo for me,” another mood must be introduced. “I love sex and am very relaxed, but with a worthy man who will prove himself to be an act, and if that happens, oh, what will we do with him!” - I understand that, bait!
First date: test drive
Well, do a cool test drive to a man. Create an atmosphere of flirting, lightness and joy at a meeting. Tasty, but for 1.5 hours.
When you will communicate with a man, show him that you are a hot little thing, a sea of passion boils in you, but at the same time you restrain yourself. He must notice how he acts on you, and at the same time he must understand that you are holding back. Like a spring. You have great potential, but it must be revealed. And if he does something wrong, the fire goes out a little. And vice versa.
There are no lazy men, there are non-motivated. It is a mistake of millions of women to wait for a man to conquer them from scratch. Illogical! Let the man enjoy you a little bit, taste your charm literally a bit, and he will begin to care, realizing that in the end he will have an amazing prize!
Of course, no one in the pair owes anyone, but the separation of roles is still present, whatever one may say. Something easier and more natural to do than a man, something to a woman.
So here. A man is, of course, achievements, security, responsibility, resources (including financial), protection. And a woman is the atmosphere, the “weather at home” and entertainment. Cool to be the main fun?
Yes, the first meeting is an acquaintance , and often it’s just a restaurant or cafe. But then, if a man is not creative, it is useful to suggest your options. Why? I tell you another secret.
Second date: crash test
One of my students went on a first date with a man who positioned himself as successful and worthy. We came to the restaurant: beautiful music, soft light, delicious coffee. They sit, coo.
The man, do not be a fool, drew a magnificent picture of his beloved. Stories from childhood beautifully turned into stories about sports achievements, then something interesting and non-trivial about business, and then a juicy compliment. There is no egocentrism or toadiness. In general, competently. The girl swam!
As a consultant, I suggested that her next meeting be held in karting. And then came the long-awaited Saturday. They are sitting in cars, started. A couple of circles together, after which the engine stalls at the gentleman, and he retracts at a speed into the chipper.
My ward drives up to a man to find out how he is doing and, possibly, to help something. And what does she see? Her cavalier has a tantrum on her face. He yells, waving his hands, screeching and accusing her of having slipped a broken car and he almost killed himself. Instead of a girl, a man sits in her car, and she is ordered to stand in the middle of the track and wait for a go-kart worker. And left.
She realized that now men need to be evaluated in stress, or at least in actions, and not on the comfortable sofa of an expensive restaurant. Many have learned to speak fluently now.
Conclusion: after the first introductory meeting, an ideal option would be a date-action.
If a man proves himself worthy, then it will not be difficult for you to fall in love with him, if only because the best format for this is to do something together, overcome obstacles, and show your best qualities! Joint overcoming of obstacles brings together tens of times faster than long emotional conversations.