Useful Tips

Meet the guy's parents: tips

Getting to know the parents of the groom or beloved guy is an exciting moment for every girl. Everyone understands that the first impression very often turns out to be decisive, and there is nothing more difficult than because of the mistake made later to break stereotypes. From this article you will learn about some of the subtleties that will make the first meeting as pleasant as possible for both parties.

What you need to know in advance

Ask your groom in advance what his parents' names are and remember their names and patronymics before the first visit to their house to avoid embarrassing situations. At least in general terms, take an interest in the nature of their activity and hobbies - the more information you have, the easier it will be for communication.

Each family has forbidden topics, so ask your boyfriend what you cannot talk about with his parents. Sometimes the most neutral conversation or the mentioned trifle can cause an awkward situation, and you need it the least. There are topics on which it is generally not customary to speak with unfamiliar people, for example, politics and religion.

What to wear

As you know, guests are greeted by clothing. Leave too open, tight and sexy clothes for another occasion. In it you will delight your boyfriend without the presence of his parents. You do not want to embarrass his father with his appearance and impress your mother as a frivolous girl?

A business suit and formal clothes are also not the best solution. Trying to look serious in this way, you will appear before his parents in the image of a girl who does not quite understand where and why she came.

Do not overdo it with decorations - you go to a family dinner, and not to a nightclub. The more modest they are, the better.

The best option is to dress simply, but with taste, in comfortable and non-inviting clothes, and this can be a dress not of an evening type or the most ordinary jeans with your favorite blouse.

Makeup, Hairstyle and Perfume

Cosmetics in large quantities have not made anyone much more attractive. To get acquainted with the guy’s parents, you don’t need too bright an image. Moreover, it can be taken too critically by the mother of a young man.

Hairstyle should be comfortable. Fluffy loose hair sticking out in different directions will have to be constantly corrected, and doing it is ugly. If there is no time for laying, you can do with an ordinary tail or a braided spikelet.

As for perfume, the main thing here is not to overdo it. Only neutral aromas and in the smallest quantity. If the parents of the groom will have a headache from the smell of your spirits, the acquaintance can hardly be called successful.

What to bring with you

Gifts are, of course, nice, but at the first meeting it is still better to refrain from them. Firstly, you still don’t know your boyfriend’s parents, and secondly, they may feel awkward about it. The best thing you can do is buy something for tea, such as a cake. In any case, consult with a guy and find out how appropriate it is. Perhaps his mother is on a diet right now, or there are other reasons why this should not be done.

Greeting

You entered the house of your boyfriend’s parents and they went out to meet you. You need to introduce yourself, and according to the rules of etiquette, the first is the one who is younger. It will be good if the young man introduces you to each other by name, and if not, then contact his father and mother as they introduced themselves to you.

Table behavior

Many girls are embarrassed to have unfamiliar people in society, and this can be understood, but it is impolite to refuse a treat. You need to at least try. It will be nice to make the hostess an unobtrusive compliment, but so that he does not confuse her.

Be careful with alcohol - from excitement, even the lightest wine can act too intoxicating. It is unlikely that you will impress the boy’s parents as a girl who likes to drink, and yet the probability of relaxing and saying something extra should be minimized.

What to talk about

Surely your boyfriend’s parents will want to get to know you better, and maybe they will ask questions or ask you to tell about yourself. Here you can rehearse a little speech in advance, but not so that it sounds like a memorized text. Willingly support the conversation, but do not go into unnecessary details - an overabundance of information at the first meeting will clearly be superfluous.

Under no circumstances should you compare the guy’s parents, the interior of their home and family traditions with their own. This is perhaps one of the most important prohibitions.

End of the meeting

The meeting with the guy’s parents took place and you have to go home. Even if they behave very hospitable, staying up late is not worth it - people may have their own plans for the evening. When leaving, thank for a pleasant day, but without obvious fawning. You can only win over yourself with sincerity, and forging it is almost impossible.

Rules for meeting a guy’s parents

The first acquaintance with the boyfriend's parents is often stress for the girl. I want the communication to go smoothly and pleasantly, but often the efforts made have the opposite effect, because people always feel unnatural. To tune in a positive mood before meeting with the boyfriend's parents, as well as prepare for how to communicate with them, use a few simple rules.

  • First of all, try to show sincere curiosity to your boyfriend's family. According to his parents, his home and family, much can be said about your chosen one, especially if you have not been together for so long. It is believed that a person can be completely different from all other members of his family and you can not judge him by relatives, but this is far from always the case. A family from childhood lays in a person many habits, beliefs and views, and often the family has a great influence on a person, even in adulthood. Therefore, it will be definitely useful for you to better know the parents of a young man. During the conversation, try with sincere interest to ask his parents about their life, hobbies, work, but do not be too intrusive if they answer you briefly.

  • Try to behave yourself naturally and not pretended. Bound movements, a fake smile and tense conversation topics are always felt and very unpleasant for the interlocutor. Sometimes we unconsciously behave unnaturally due to excessive excitement. That is why it is important to try to relax. Be yourself and try not to worry about what the young man’s family thinks of you. In any case, you cannot pretend to be forever if your relationship lasts a long time. It’s better to behave naturally from the very beginning and not try to hide behind a mask, because natural behavior combined with goodwill always fascinates.
  • Before the event, try to gently ask your chosen one about his parents. Find out who they work with, what they are addicted to, and how they treated past girls of a young man. This will give you “food” for thought and help you prepare better. For example, you can prepare questions in advance by demonstrating to your boyfriend's parents that you are really interested in them.
  • Find out in advance how the meeting will be held. A trip to an expensive restaurant is significantly different from going to a country house with barbecue. You need to get dressed and behave accordingly. If you were invited to a restaurant, try to demonstrate good manners and ability to keep yourself in society. It is also worth choosing the appropriate outfit - for example, a simple but elegant dress. When the event is held in an informal setting, there is no need to dress up excessively.
  • Do not abuse alcohol at the first meeting with parents. If you are very nervous, it may seem that alcohol will help to relax, but it’s better to still control yourself and not do anything stupid.

  • No need to demonstrate your relationship with a guy openly. For example, kisses will often not be appropriate with parents, if you probably do not know that they relate to such manifestations normally. In this case, you can show sincere concern for their son. For example, courting him at the table. Hugs can also be quite appropriate.
  • Do not forget that for the parents of your young man, meeting you can also be related to stress. They will also try to please you and want you to feel comfortable. Try to relax, communicate with them kindly, be interested in their life and calmly talk about yourself.

How to behave when meeting with a guy’s parents?

Finding someone to talk to can be difficult. Communication with new people is always improvisation and it is impossible to predict its outcome in advance. If you have never talked with a guy’s parents, you need to be prepared for awkward pauses, misunderstandings or even emerging conflicts. It is better, of course, not only to be prepared for this, but also to be able to get out of the situation with dignity. A few specific tips for getting to know your boyfriend's parents will help you establish a constructive, open, and friendly dialogue with your young man’s family.

  • If you don’t know what to say, give compliments. It always works flawlessly. Praise the food if the young man’s mother cooked herself, praise her dress or express admiration for his father’s work. At the same time, try to make compliments be sincere. For example, if dinner really did not succeed, of course, you do not need to praise it. Better focus on something else. Avoid open flattery and try to really find something that will impress and delight you, and then tell people about it.
  • What should be taken into account when communicating with your young man’s mother? First of all, you cannot deny that you are competing with her. Any mother is a little hostile to her son’s chosen one, because now you will look after him, feed him and claim his attention. There is no way to get rid of this, you just need to understand this fact. Do not try to show off your food, cleanliness in the apartment or time devoted to a young man. It’s better to sincerely admire the mother’s care for her son. At the same time, it is important for any mother that her son be in good hands. However, it is better to demonstrate how good you are as a mistress, not in words but in actions.

  • Communication with the father of a young man can often be easier than with his mother. It is worth considering that your father will evaluate you, first of all, as a woman. Your appearance, grooming, taste in clothes, as well as behavior and manner of speech will be important. Also, the guy’s father may like it if you can share some of his hobbies. If you understand something in football or fishing, you will surely be able to charm him. If you don’t have any “male” hobbies, you don’t need to invent them, because it will be obviously unnatural.
  • When communicating with your boyfriend's parents, you may encounter intrusive questions about your family. You should not react to it aggressively. You can also understand the parents of a young man; they want to know as much about you as possible. Report directly and honestly about relationships in your family and your parents' work, but without going into special details.
  • If in communication with the parents of your chosen one there is a misunderstanding or even a conflict is brewing, try to be as friendly as possible and translate everything as a joke. Do not be stubborn and do not try to prove your case, even if it is obvious. When you make friends with the parents of your young man, you will have a lot of time and opportunity for a variety of disputes and discussions. At the first meeting, the main thing is to establish contact, and not to convince people of their point of view.
  • How do you like the parents of a guy on a first meeting? Keep calm and confident, no matter what. Do not react aggressively and do not be nervous when silence arises in a conversation. Do everything that depends on you: be friendly, friendly and sincere.

What to wear to meet the guy's parents?

Before the alleged acquaintance with the parents of the young man, the obvious question arises: what to wear for this meeting? A definite answer cannot be given here, it is only worth considering that your outfit should be appropriate for the occasion. If you go for a quick acquaintance in the nearest coffee shop, an ordinary casual outfit will do. If you were invited to a family celebration in a restaurant, you should think about an evening dress. If you go outdoors, clothes should be convenient and comfortable, first of all. Going to a guy’s parents’s home for dinner, dress smartly but modestly.

Whatever the case, some rules are common to any meeting with parents. When choosing clothes, consider the following details:

  • The first and obvious rule is that your outfit should not be too frank. This is especially true of your everyday look. However, even if you go to a restaurant, you do not need to choose an outfit with a deep neckline or a short skirt. Best dress more elegantly. Restrained dresses and skirts can show a figure no worse than open dresses. This rule is especially worth considering if you do not yet know how conservative your young man's parents are.
  • Even though the outfit should be chosen more modestly, you do not need to wear a business suit or emphasized closed clothing. Strict trousers, buttoned on all buttons of a shirt, jackets, skirts on the floor - all this may look strange and inappropriate. Do not deviate from your usual style, because it is your image that will allow you to look the most natural and feel comfortable. Even if you know that the parents of your chosen one are extremely conservative, you still should not indulge their tastes completely. Just dress stylishly, but not defiantly.

  • Dress with restraint, but not boring. Your clothes do not need to be too bright and catchy. Black color can fit perfectly: it always looks refined, elegant, goes to any woman without exception. Pastel colors are also usually good.

You can diversify the image with stylish accessories. Bright bag, shoes or jewelry will add zest to the image and emphasize your beauty.

Questions to the boyfriend's parents when meeting

Getting to know your parents is really a very important event. Not for nothing, according to signs, if I had a dream meeting with the guy’s parents, this indicates an imminent marriage. Indeed, acquaintance takes the relationship to another level. Therefore, it is important that the conversation develops successfully from the very beginning.

Often the best strategy for talking with your young man’s parents is to transfer the initiative into their hands. Try to listen carefully to what they say and answer questions. However, in this way you run the risk of giving the impression of a closed person. In addition, you don’t know how the dialogue will go: it’s possible that your boyfriend’s parents will not be too comfortable with you, and they will not talk much.

Then you have to take the initiative. However, instead of talking a lot about yourself, ask your interlocutors. People are always pleased when they try to recognize them and show curiosity for their life. Here are some relevant ideas for questions to your chosen one’s parents:

  • The best topic for an unobtrusive conversation is hobbies and hobbies. If your boyfriend has already managed to tell you what his parents are interested in, it will be easier to formulate questions for you. If you don’t know anything about the essence of their hobbies, then either collect some information in advance or show genuine interest by asking your parents. People can endlessly talk about what they are passionate about, and they are always pleased when someone is interested in it.

  • If dinner is held at the guy’s parents’ house, you can ask for recipes. Any hostess will gladly tell you everything in detail. You can also ask parents about their taste preferences and start a conversation about food. This may be an occasion to invite them to dinner at your place, where you, in the future, will be able to prove yourself as a good housewife.
  • Do not be afraid to be interested in the work of your young man's parents. In this case, never focus on social status and financial situation. Take an interest in the essence of the work, try to find the questions that the interlocutors will come across with funny stories and memories. If they perform hard and responsible work, you will have a chance to unobtrusively express their respect.

You can find many topics for conversation with the parents of a young man and pick up a lot of questions that they will be pleased to answer. However, there are issues that should be strictly avoided. At the first meeting with the guy’s parents, never ask questions about the following topics:

  • First of all, do not ask your parents anything about your young man - this may be perceived as bad form. All that you need is better to find out directly from the chosen one.
  • Do not ask questions on sensitive discussion topics, which include politics and religion. Это может развиться в жаркий спор или даже в ссору, а вам совсем не нужны конфликты.
  • Избегайте вопросов на любые темы, связанные с сексом.
  • Избегайте вопросов, касающихся уровня доходов и социального положения родителей вашего парня. Такие вопросы прозвучат грубо и продемонстрируют вас, как меркантильную девушку.
  • Не спрашивайте родителей молодого человека, понравились ли вы им, даже в шутку. Это продемонстрирует вашу неуверенность в себе.

Что подарить родителям парня на знакомство?

Подарок родителями парня — это совсем не обязательный жест, однако он может помочь вам заранее получить их расположение. However, the choice of such a gift is a difficult matter. Often, even the guy’s advice will not be able to help you find the perfect option. If you are considering a gift for the parents of a young man, consider the following nuances:

  • A gift does not have to be expensive. Rather, it should be purely symbolic - a bouquet of flowers, a souvenir or something that you have done with your own hands. An expensive gift is appropriate only if you were invited to a family holiday.

  • A gift should be for both parents. If you are unable to find one gift that they equally like, it is better to prepare two small gifts.
  • Gifts related to hobbies and hobbies of people - this is a win-win option. To make such a gift, you will have to find out from the young man all the necessary information in advance.
  • If you are engaged in needlework, a DIY gift is perfect. The picture you painted, the embroidered tablecloth or any similar souvenir will be an appropriate gift and will leave a good impression on you, provided that you are truly a master of your craft. If you are not fond of any needlework, you can just bring a home-made cake - it will also be very appropriate, especially if you go to a guy’s parents’s home for dinner.

Acquaintance of a girl with a guy’s parents will go well if you prepare for him in advance and follow simple rules. The most important thing is to behave naturally and be friendly, no matter what. Even if you and your parents will have different views and habits, you can always build friendly communication. What do you need when meeting with a guy’s parents? Try to sincerely want to make friends with them and be more interested in their family.

2) Naturalness

You should not prepare any speech, pretend or embellish some aspects of your life, because you will be recognized later anyway. Better to just be yourself. Parents will appreciate your sincerity and sincerity.

Smile, because it has to itself. Suddenly, your charming smile from the doorway will melt the heart of your parents and you will no longer need the following rules?

5) A leaf in the wind

Excitement in this situation can play into your hands. If the parents see what you are experiencing, it will let them know that this meeting is very important for you, and they will begin to treat you with great cordiality.

Summing up the above, we will see the advice of a psychologist:

Yes, the first acquaintance with the guy’s parents is a responsible and exciting step that you will have to go through. Treat this as a little trial. And it’s not a fact that you yourself will not get pleasure from this meeting.

In general, do not worry and everything will work out. Good luck

Spiridonova Nadezhda Viktorovna

Psychologist. Specialist from the site b17.ru

everything should be elegant, and at the same time modest. smile, do not be a beech. you can compliment your mother, “tell me, Petya, Vasya (I’d like to emphasize) he told me a lot about you, and I'm glad to finally see you personally.” But then it started. ))) just do not drink a lot, and do not sleep in the salad, otherwise the first time will be the last)))

jeans and turtleneck! acquaintance was at his home))
in general, why all this pathos. a restaurant. evening toilets. all this will confuse you even more. you need to get acquainted in a relaxed atmosphere. but better by accident))
Well, since you have already been invited to a restaurant, this suggests that his parents love to catch up on the importance of the event. so you catch up. put on the dress! and smile!
and also the main goal is to show that you love their son and then everything will be a bunch! GOOD LUCK !!

His mother came to visit him from another city and he invited me to get to know each other. I got ready, dressed beautifully, fashionably (not modestly, but not brightly), made up. I came in a good mood, was friendly and open, immediately found a common language. She asked about me, told about my son, funny stories from his childhood. When I left, she even took a picture of us together :) In short, I liked it. After, he told me that his mother was delighted with me. Now, when she calls him, she sends me greetings :)

Since DR, then do not forget the bunch))),
put on a dress, high heel shoes. You have to look feminine.
Undesirable jeans, a T-shirt.

But he brought me to another city altogether, his parents met us at the airport with flowers, and there they met. There were jeans and a jumper, all modestly and tastefully. The main thing is not to wear a mini skirt and tights in a net, a deep neckline, otherwise it will be a shame for yourself immediately, I’m telling you for sure) The simpler, the more mom will like it.

When I first met my older sister-in-law, she was in a T-shirt and jeans and was not sober, and the youngest was in a dress and high heels. Now, after 5 and 3 years, I realized, I do not care what they were in, I only worry about my sons, and he is fine with them, which means me too.

Related topics

I did it, so we went to get acquainted with his parents right after work, I did not know anything. She was dressed in a strict black sarafan and a blouse, I was at work)))) When I entered, his family tensed up, they were simple enough) But the conversation somehow started quickly, they began to tell me all kinds of family stories, and everything seemed to how well it went)
Nothing supernatural is required of you. Wear a beautiful dress, a bouquet of flowers and forth) If his mother likes to be in the spotlight, then sit nodding and make a smart face. The only thing is, since they invited you to a restaurant, they will follow your manners, so repeat in which hand to hold the plug)

Girls, and a bouquet will be enough ?? a guy gives his mother a phone .. I can ideally limit myself to flowers? or something else needed ??

girls, and if I’m just going home to my husband’s parents for dinner, this is the first meeting, what do you think, can you give a bouquet to your mom, or is it better to buy a cake (sweets) ??

Girls, and a bouquet will be enough ?? a guy gives his mother a phone .. I can ideally limit myself to flowers? or something else needed ??

It was summer, it was in a light summer dress. And you can come with a box of chocolates.

the main thing is to dress without a neckline and jeans, and not to bother to kiss her son every 5 minutes, especially a sucker. Mamuli are very jealous! and do not hang on her son. it will be better if you come together under / by the arm and sit next to it. and just leave.

girls, and if I’m just going home to my husband’s parents for dinner, this is the first meeting, what do you think, can you give a bouquet to your mom, or is it better to buy a cake (sweets) ??

Girls, and a bouquet will be enough ?? a guy gives his mother a phone .. I can ideally limit myself to flowers? or something else needed ??

but I have another problem - his mother doesn’t know me, but I don’t think she has a very good opinion of me - as it turned out, she had a page in contact and she followed my page - then politely called her son and expressed complaints about that I have the words "damn" and "hell" on the page. and he was staying with me for the night - there was no sex, we are waiting until the wedding - but she still couldn’t explain, no matter how much my boyfriend tried. in general, I’ve never seen her before — and her relationship is already tense. And I hoped to wait before getting to know his parents — like, they would live and forget. but the guy’s birthday is in a week, he invited me to his place, saying, “but you’ll meet my parents,” I can’t refuse anymore - I'm sitting, freaking out. I think to give a bouquet of flowers and pretend that nothing happened. I'm going to wear jeans and a blouse - the rest of the things are either too short or tight. not too bad.

but I have another problem - his mother doesn’t know me, but I don’t think she has a very good opinion of me - as it turned out, she had a page in contact and she followed my page - then politely called her son and expressed complaints about that I have the words "damn" and "hell" on the page. and he was staying with me for the night - there was no sex, we are waiting until the wedding - but she still couldn’t explain, no matter how much my boyfriend tried. in general, I’ve never seen her before — and her relationship is already tense. And I hoped to wait before getting to know his parents — like, they would live and forget. but the guy’s birthday is in a week, he invited me to his place, saying, “but you’ll meet my parents,” I can’t refuse anymore - I'm sitting, freaking out. I think to give a bouquet of flowers and pretend that nothing happened. I'm going to wear jeans and a blouse - the rest of the things are either too short or tight. not too bad.

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